Elegy For Dawn

Elegy For Dawn

You have left me in the flaming dawn of my world
You shone when you were with me, and you taught me there could be light in me.

You gave me hope, you see.

I wanted to tell you I loved you, so many times
But you were beautiful to me, and I was afraid.

And so I was silent.  But I think you understood.

I remember
The tree in my backyard
Where you sat next to me, that night
Your bare feet hanging over space, and your face reflecting starlight.

You held tight to me, for the branch was narrow, and told me children’s stories
And childhood stories and you told me of your scars and you told me you believed in me
And there was a shooting star, and I don’t know what you wished for.
And I wished that my parents would love each other.

We stayed there until dawn, you and I.
We stayed there until you turned to me, your starlit face brushing mine
And you whispered to me
And I turned to kiss you

But you were gone, bare feet through the wet grass
And I was alone with the dawn
And the words you´d whispered to me.

I remember when you told me that I was strong
And I didn’t believe you.

I remember when my dad left
The day you hugged me
And told me I was loved
And didn’t let go until I’d stopped crying.

That was the day I told myself I’d protect you no matter what.

I remember seeing you in the hospital that first time,
Your hair was gone, and you were beautiful
And you prayed for me because I was scared.

I remember when you told me it would be ok
And I didn’t believe you

I remember you were the only one who came to my birthday that year
And you were too weak to climb
So we sat under the tree, and you asked me to hold you.
That was the only time I ever saw you cry
And you prayed for me because I was scared.

I remember when I saw you without your wig
When I told you that you were still beautiful
And you tried to believe me.

I remember when I came to visit and you were sleeping
And I prayed for you until you woke

I remember the last time you spoke to me
When you smiled
And told me you were grateful for me.
And I believed you.

I remember the last time I saw you
When you needed a tube to breathe
And I knew it was goodbye.
Your eyes were closed, and you were beautiful.
I took your hand and didn’t know what to say
And you squeezed my hand and said it for me.